


Decadence

by arrum_rose



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Baking, Ben Solo Eats Pussy, Biting, Bratty Rey, But she's a brat and a little bit of a switch too, Choking, Come Swallowing, Comeplay, Creampie, Cupcakes, Degradation, Doggy Style, Dom/sub, Dominance, Dominant Kylo Ren, Emotional Constipation, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Frosting, Gratuitous Smut, Hate Sex, Kitchen Sex, Messy, Messy Feelings, Messy kitchen, Musical References, No Pregnancy, Oral Sex, POV Rey (Star Wars), Rough Kissing, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Safe to Read if Triggered by Pregnancy, Song Lyrics, Spit Kink, Submissive Rey (Star Wars), This is messy for multiple reasons, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unsafe Sex, Vaginal Sex, Wet & Messy, and they were ROOMMATES, brief mention of past relationships, cumpainting, messy sex, rey is a brat, slight blood kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:42:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26443603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arrum_rose/pseuds/arrum_rose
Summary: Decadence.n.An overindulgence in pleasure and luxury to the point of moral deterioration and self destruction.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 32
Kudos: 101
Collections: Reylo Smutember 2020, Smutember 2020





	Decadence

**Author's Note:**

> This is my contribution to #reylosmutember! Day 13: Messy
> 
> It's messy in multiple ways, if you catch my drift. 
> 
> Huge thank you to my beta-reader R'iia (she literally tears me to shreds and I love her for it). Check her out on twitter y'all! [RiiasShorts](https://twitter.com/RiiasShorts)
> 
> Also big thank you to Amelia for making the moodboard! It's so perfect I love it omG. [kybrkylo](https://twitter.com/kybrkylo)
> 
> I also made a playlist! Some of the songs are in this fic, and some are just to set the mood. I recommend listening to it before you read, while you read, or after you read. [decadence playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3c9pdDK2iUQpUiTjJeGfPT)
> 
> This is...filthy. In the best way of course, but it is filthy. Mind the tags y'all! 
> 
> Enjoy the absolute mess that came out of my brain <3

_ _

_ Go ahead and cry, little girl _

_ Nobody does it like you do _

_ I know how much it matters to you _

_ I know that you got daddy issues _

Rey blares her music over her little bluetooth speaker as she turns on the electric mixer and begins combining her dry ingredients with the wet ones. The playlist for today is a special collection of songs that she likes to listen to when she’s alone in her room with thoughts of a dark, handsome stranger running through her mind. She won’t admit it to anyone else, but her choice to bake and blare this particular playlist was absolutely intentional. 

She knows it’ll drive Ben mad. 

The two of them have been sharing this apartment for almost a year now, but they have been hostile towards each other for the past ten months, give or take. She isn’t sure when it started or how, but for reasons unclear to her, they began fighting. All. The. Time. The early fights were small, from what Rey can remember. It was usually about whose turn it was to take out the trash or water the plants, but eventually, it turned into something else. 

They took turns doing petty things to annoy the other. Ben  would leave her favorite snacks on the highest shelves so she couldn’t reach them, so, in retaliation, Rey would feed his health-junky superfood mixes and canned tuna to the stray cats in the alley. 

This became their game. There’s never a winner, but Rey still enjoys playing it, even if she doesn’t know why. Although, part of the reason may be attributed to her growing attraction to Ben. 

She won’t admit it to anyone- she barely admits it to herself- but Rey has found herself lusting after her big, brooding, asshole of a roommate. 

It’s not like she stood much of a chance. He’s almost as wide as he is tall, and he has the perfect amount of muscle definition to match his frame. He could definitely pick her up easily, and she often fantasizes about exactly that. His hair is the perfect length for gripping onto while he licks at her cunt, and his skin is a beautiful shade of alabaster. Marks from her nails would bloom there very easily. She wants him to toss her around and fuck her silly over every surface in their apartment. 

The only problem is they hate each other. No matter how many fantasies she has of him bending her over the counter and fucking her until she passes out, she knows that it will probably never happen. 

That doesn’t stop her from trying. 

_ And if you were my little girl _

_ I'd do whatever I could do _

_ I'd run away and hide with you _

_ I love that you got daddy issues _

Rey spills flour all over the counter, but it hardly matters when most of the ingredients have been spilled and scattered on the countertops and floors anyways. She’s never been particularly good at keeping the kitchen clean while baking or cooking, which is why Ben hates when she does it.

Her playlist continues to blare, and, combined with the mess in the kitchen, it’s the perfect storm for another fight once Ben walks in the door. She thinks she may be a little bit of a masochist. There’s a thrill and rush of adrenaline that runs through her every time they argue. She wants him to yell at her, just so she can feel something. 

She doesn’t hear him walk in, mostly due to the volume of the music, but when he steps into the kitchen, it’s hard to ignore him. His body takes up almost all of the space in the doorframe, and he drops his briefcase to the tiled floor in shock. 

“Rey, what the hell?!” His deep, booming voice is laced with warning. 

She bites her lip and tosses him a look over her shoulder as she continues her task at hand. Her heart is pounding and her palms are sweating, but she doesn’t want him to know that.

Rey turns her back to him once again and begins singing and swaying her jean-clad hips slightly to the smooth melody of the music. 

_ You ask me what I'm thinking about _

_ I'll tell you that I'm thinking about _

_ Whatever you're thinking about _

She can feel his eyes burning holes into her back, and because she’s feeling brave, she exaggerates the movement of her hips slightly. She looks around to make eye contact with him once again as she sings a little louder in the most sultry tone she can muster. His eyes are blazing and dark with some unreadable emotion, and she holds his gaze. It makes her heart beat wildly against her ribcage, but she likes danger. 

_ Tell me something that I'll forget _

_ And you might have to tell me again _

_ It's crazy what you'll do for a friend _

Rey tears her eyes away from him and turns her attention back to her cupcake batter. Ben moves to stand on the other side of the counter, trying to get her attention so he can scold her. She pointedly ignores him and switches the mixer to a faster speed. At this point, she’s pretty sure she’s over-mixed it, but it doesn’t really matter to her. It was never about the cupcakes. 

“Turn the fucking music off.” 

A bit of batter splatters onto her thumb, and she sucks it off slowly and deliberately as she peeks up at him through her lashes. He looks mad, which is no surprise, but there’s something else there too. Some barely-detectable emotion behind the fiery pupils of his whiskey-brown eyes. She notices it, though, even if she’s not exactly sure what it is.

There’s no batter on the rest of her fingers, but she sucks one into her mouth anyways as she holds his intense gaze. The air is thick with tension and pure pheromonal need from Rey’s end. The invisible string between them that’s been winding tighter and tighter since she first moved in feels like it’s going to snap any minute now. 

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you. The music’s too loud,” she says coyly between kitten licks at her fingers. 

His eyes darken further, and she swears she hears him growl from deep in his chest. 

“You heard me. Don’t play dumb. Turn down the fucking music and clean up this goddamn mess.” He’s gripping the edge of the counter so tightly that his knuckles are turning white. 

She shuts off the mixer and bites her lip, tilting her head slightly. “And what are you going to do if I don’t, Ben? What are you going to do if I say no?” 

He visibly swallows down some nerves, and Rey revels in the fact that she has made Ben Solo nervous and horny. Maybe he can try to hide the fact that he’s attracted to her, at least physically, but Rey now knows that he wants to fuck her just as much as she wants to fuck him, if the slight dilation of his pupils and the increase in the tempo of his breathing means anything.

His eyes burn into hers. “You’re playing with fire, Rey.” 

She smirks. “What if I want to get burned? What would you say to that?”

Rey thinks he’s about to make a move and  _ finally  _ fuck her like she’s been dreaming about, but instead, he breaks away abruptly and storms to the closet in the back of their kitchen to grab a broom and dustpan, thrusting them into her hands when he returns. 

“I would say clean up this fucking mess or I’m going to kick you off the lease. I’m so fucking tired of this shit, Rey. You know I hate it when you bake, and our neighbors have filed  _ seven  _ noise complaints because of you. The pranks were cute sometimes, but this is just fucking  _ annoying. _ ” He isn’t quite yelling at her, but his voice is raised enough that she can hear him very clearly over the music. 

It’s a different song now. One about sleazy hotel rooms with a sultry, mysterious woman waiting inside, desperate to be pleasured by her lover. 

She twirls the broom in her hand a bit before setting it against the counter. “I have a better idea in mind…” She grabs his tie and winds i t around her knuckles, slowly pulling him into her. To her surprise, he doesn’t pull away, and just lets her reel him in closer and closer, until their faces are mere inches apart. 

He seems to be in her trance, falling into her trap, but as quickly as he falls under, he breaks out of her spell and pulls away, just as their lips brush. 

“How did you find out? Who told you? Is this some sort of a prank, did Hux set you up to this?” He’s not shouting in anger anymore, not really. There’s a sort of panicked vulnerability to his words, and Rey is left confused. 

She backs away from him a little, trying to guard herself from rejection. “Find out what? What does Hux have to do with this? I just want to fuck you, Ben. A nice, simple, hate-fuck.” 

Ben seems to grapple with her words for a bit. An array of emotions flit across his face in the span of seconds, but then he seems to come to a decision. “A hate-fuck? That’s all you want?” 

Rey nods and bites her lip again. The music is still blaring loud and insistent in the background. The silence between them seems to span for years, and his face keeps flickering between reluctance and lust. 

Then, suddenly, he has her backed up into the counter, and his lips are on hers. It’s messy and desperate, and there’s a deep, passionate heat to his kiss that threatens to engulf her completely. His hips grind into hers, and she can feel his huge, hard cock against her lower belly. The counter is digging into her back, but it’s impossible to focus on anything besides the feel of his lips on hers. 

He trails kisses across her jaw and down her neck until he reaches her pulse point, nipping and sucking at the heated skin there. “I’m gonna punish you for being such a messy little slut. Making a mess of this kitchen, pissing me off on purpose,” he growls into her flesh. 

She feels her feet leave the ground, and before she can blink, she’s sitting on the counter with Ben’s body between her legs. One of his hands is gripping her thigh while the other creeps up to her neck to squeeze lightly as he licks into her mouth and devours her. 

Rey smirks and bites his lower lip,  _ hard.  _ She uses enough force to break the skin, and the taste of his blood slips into her mouth. He groans- it seems to turn him on, if the erection hitting her thigh is any indication. Her tongue works to clean his blood away languidly, and the bit that dribbled onto his chin gets licked away too. She leans into his lips so that he can feel her breath but not close enough for their lips to touch. “What are you gonna do about it? Are you gonna make a mess of me?” Her lips just barely touch his before she whispers, “I’d like to see you try.”

A deep, dangerous rumble erupts from him, and his hands both move to grip her hips and pull her against his throbbing cock. Even through the layers of fabric, she can feel the heat of him, and she can tell he’s  _ big.  _ Probably the biggest of all the guys she’s been with. 

“Is that a challenge? You think I can’t do it?” He’s nibbling at her earlobe as his hips begin to thrust into hers slowly. 

She’s definitely a little masochistic; she wants to push him further. She wants to get under his skin as much as she can. “I doubt it. There’s a bottle of lube in my nightstand drawer, you know, just in case.” 

He growls and bites her neck roughly, but not quite hard enough to break the skin. “We don’t need lube.”

Rey is about to mouth off again, but he presses his lips to hers aggressively, and the words die in the back of her throat. He unbuttons her jeans and peels them off quickly with her underwear in tow, tossing them over his shoulder onto the dirty kitchen floor. 

He immediately moves to push her so she’s laying back on the counter. She can feel the flour and sugar sticking to her back, and she’s about to protest, but then he slides his fingers along the lips of her pussy, and all thoughts escape her. The only thing she can think about now is the feeling of his fingers, those  _ damn  _ fingers that she’s been fantasizing about for months. 

Ben teases her like this for a while, occasionally rubbing tight circles into her clit to build up the pressure, only to go back to exploring her outer folds. She keeps whining and bucking her hips, trying to encourage him to do more, but he seems content to just keep her like this, on edge and crying for relief. 

She’s dripping onto the counter already, which is a new thing for her. None of the people she’s been with before have made her  _ this  _ wet with such minimal touching. Maybe that should tell her something about all of this, about this  _ thing  _ with Ben, but she ignores it, choosing instead to focus on the two fingers he’s slowly slipping into her. She knew his fingers were big, but she didn’t quite register  _ how  _ big until he stuffed two of them inside her cunt. It’s a stretch, and she wonders for a second how exactly his cock will fit inside of her. He leans down and  teases her clit with his tongue, drawing shapes around it lazily but never actually making contact with the little bundle of nerves. 

He  starts  thrusting his fingers in and out of her cunt a little faster, and his tongue  _ finally  _ roams over her clit. With the added stimulation, her hips buck up off the counter, prompting Ben to slide one leanly-muscled arm over her lower belly to hold her down. 

Ben’s fingers slow a little, and he moves his tongue back to the skin around her clit. “Stay still or I stop.” 

Rey whines in protest, but she concedes. He’s the one in control here; there isn’t much she can do besides lie there and take it. He curls his fingers to caress her inner walls, and then he resumes thrusting his fingers in and out of her slowly. 

She groans and fists her hands in his hair when he finally begins finger fucking her in earnest. He sucks her clit between his lips, and she sees stars. 

“Thought we needed lube...how fucking ridiculous.” His words reverberate against her clit, and she swears she sees sparks flying through the air. She hasn’t even  _ come  _ yet...

The pressure in her lower belly builds higher and higher as he continues to slide his fingers in and out of her while switching between licking and sucking her clit. She’s about to tip over the edge. The walls of her cunt are beginning to flutter around his fingers, and as soon as she’s right at the precipice, he stops and pulls back, placing the fingers that were just inside of her on her lower belly and wiping her fluids off on her skin. 

She whines and digs her nails into his shoulders. “What the fuck, Ben? I was  _ s-so  _ close.” 

He smirks up at her and trails rough, short kisses up her belly until he reaches her breasts. “Only good girls get to come, and you’ve been  _ very  _ bad.” Ben tugs her shirt off and finds that she’s not wearing a bra. She usually doesn’t; they’re very uncomfortable and she doesn’t really need them anyway. 

He sucks at her nipple and trails his hands all over her body. It’s oddly gentle for a hate-fuck, and Rey starts to grow impatient and uncomfortable with the intimacy of it all, so she wraps her legs around his hips and roughly grinds her soaking cunt into his clothed cock. 

Ben groans into her breast and pulls back. “Be patient or I’ll spank you.” 

“Is that a threat or a promise?” 

His dark eyes bore into hers as he decides what to do with her. She sees the moment he comes to a resolution. 

He keeps his eyes locked on hers as he reaches across the counter to pick up the bowl of chocolate buttermilk frosting that she made earlier. She forgot to refrigerate it after preparing it, so it’s probably a drippy, goopy mess now. Ben doesn’t seem to care, though, because he dips a finger into the bowl and covers her tits and stomach in the sweet, sticky substance. 

His tongue follows the path of his fingers. He doesn’t even seem to be trying to get her off, he just laps up at the frosting until she’s clean. His hot, wet tongue explores every inch of her stomach and breasts, slurping up every bit of chocolate that he finds. When he starts to lave at her nipple once again, Rey just about loses her control. 

She moans and grinds her hips up again. “I thought you hated sweets.” 

Ben chuckles darkly as he finishes cleaning her breasts of the frosting. “I do.” 

She meets his eyes, and their breathing syncs. The rise and fall of his chest is mesmerizing. He pulls away suddenly and undoes the buttons of his shirt with an urgency she hasn’t seen since they first started kissing. The second to last button seems to give him some trouble, but before she can offer to help, she hears him mutter “fuck it”, and then he’s ripping the final few buttons open and letting the shirt fall off of his shoulders onto the floor. 

His pants and boxers get a similar treatment, and soon he’s in front of her in all of his beautiful, chiseled, naked glory. She notices the new song playing now, but only because it’s one she doesn’t listen to often. 

_ Wanna hear her say is "Are you mine?" _

_ Well, are you mine? _

_ Are you mine? _

_ Are you mine? Oh, ah _

Rey thinks it’s a little ironic that this, of all the songs on her playlist, is the one that pops up right as they’re going to fuck each other’s brains out and then forget about it right after. She’s snapped out of her reverie when he growls and palms her sticky breasts roughly. “I’m gonna use all of your tight little holes until you can’t see straight. That’s a promise. But first…” He pulls her down off the counter. “If you’re not going to clean up the mess you made, you’re going to put that bratty little mouth of yours to good use.” 

She catches onto his meaning and smirks, sinking down to her knees slowly. Her face is level with his hard, throbbing cock. It’s flushed red and sticking up towards his belly button. It might be the biggest cock she’s ever seen. 

Rey doesn’t break eye contact as she begins to trace her tongue around the tip of his leaking cock. She takes her finger and dips it into his precum, her tongue licking around the edge of the flared head of his dick. She slips that finger between her lips and sucks the sticky fluid into her mouth. It’s a little salty, but she actually kind of likes the taste. That’s a new one as well: she’s never particularly enjoyed the taste of cum, pre or otherwise. 

She lets some saliva drip from her mouth and onto the head of his dick, working her spit along the length of him before grabbing the base of his cock and easing the tip into her mouth. He’s too big for her to take all of him, but she tries her best to fit as much of him as she can. She wants him to remember this; even if they forget about the rest of what happens today, she wants him to think of her whenever another bitch is sucking him off. She wants to be his best, his favorite.

It’s an oddly possessive thought for a one-time hatefuck. 

His cock hits the back of her throat, and she breathes deep and swallows around him to keep from gagging. Her tongue explores his length, and the slightly salty taste of his sweat just spurs her on further. She wants to make him come. 

She begins bobbing her head along his length, and his hand comes down to grip the back of her head, hand fisting in her hair. Rey works her hand at the base of his cock as she sucks every inch that she can fit past her lips. 

He groans from above her, muttering dirty things as she blows him with everything she has. “Filthy slut. Sucking me off so well. Cleaning my cock like a little whore. Keep going, Rey, fuck-”

She feels him throb heavily in her throat before he pushes his whole dick into her mouth. It slips past the back of her throat slightly, and she gags a little, but he holds her there as he spills his cum down her throat in thick spurts. She swallows almost all of it before he pulls his cock out of her mouth, but she lets a little bit of it dribble past her lips and onto her breasts. Her head tilts up to look at him, seeking his approval. His eyes are blown wide, and his pupils have dilated to the point where his eyes almost look black. 

She blew his mind.  _ Good _ . 

Ben scrambles to bring her to her feet, gripping her under her armpits and lifting her up into his arms. His lips are bruising when they connect with hers again, and she luxuriates in it. She loves the roughness of his touch. His calloused palms grip into the skin of her thighs, and she wraps her legs around him as he carries her over to the fridge. 

It’s convenient that they’re roommates because he knows that she has an implant, and she knows he hasn’t had sex with anyone since they first started rooming with each other, so it’s safe to assume he’s clean. 

She can feel his cock, heavy and still slick from her mouth, against her hip. He’s still hard, by some miracle, and she wonders if this is a common thing for him. Does he just  _ not have _ a refractory period? 

The heated skin of her back hits the cool wall of the fridge, and all thoughts leave her head once again. It must be because of how touch-starved she is. She hasn’t been properly fucked in  _ months.  _ It probably has nothing to do with him. That’s what she keeps telling herself as he lines himself up at her entrance and starts to push in slowly.

She thought his cock felt big in her mouth, but it feels  _ exponentially  _ bigger in her cunt. Her walls stretch to accommodate his girth, and it burns a little, but in the best way. Rey looks down to where their bodies are connected, and he’s only halfway in.  _ Fuck.  _

Ben’s eyes connect with hers briefly, looking for one last bit of confirmation that she wants this. She gives him a small nod before he thrusts his hips forward roughly and stuffs the rest of his massive length into her pussy. She whines a little from the burn of underused muscles finally being stretched again, but it doesn’t hurt. Right off the bat, his hips move at a fast and rough pace, pounding into her cunt relentlessly. 

He drops one of her legs, letting it fall to the floor and changing the angle of his thrusts as he rails her against the fridge door. His hips slap against hers again and again and  _ again  _ as his cock pounds into her pussy. He doesn’t falter in his pace for even a second. 

Rey grips onto his shoulders for leverage as he slides into the tight walls of her cunt her with each powerful thrust of his hips. She moans into his ear when he hits a particularly deep spot. She swears she can feel him hitting her cervix with how deep he’s thrusting, and she hopes he bruises it. It’ll be a little reminder that all of this was  _ real _ when she wakes up tomorrow. 

He locks eyes with her again as she bites her lip. His eyebrow cocks in a silent question, and she nods, parting her lips. Ben spits into her mouth, then immediately leans in to kiss her again. Their spit mixes and mingles and their tongues battle for dominance in the space where their lips are connected, and still his hips continue to piston into her cunt. 

She pulls back when she feels herself growing closer to release. “Do me doggy style. I don’t want you to see my face when I come,” she mutters into his ear. 

Ben hesitates, and his hips stutter, but he obeys her request and pulls out of her pussy. He guides her over to the counter and bends her over it, putting her ass on full display for him. Her tits are getting covered in the flour she spilled earlier, but he either doesn’t care or doesn’t notice and wastes no time in sliding into her again. She feels like she’s getting impaled and split in half, and she wants to drown in the feeling of his cock stretching the walls of her cunt  _ so _ deliciously. 

He resumes his rough, hard thrusts into her as he slides a hand from her ass, up her back, and to her neck. He squeezes her throat just enough to make her a bit lightheaded and then backs off the pressure a little. She’s still pretty sure he left marks on her neck. She bruises pretty easily, after all. 

His other hand slips down her front and rubs circular patterns into her clit. He isn’t gentle in his thrusts or in the way he plays with her clit, and it’s exactly what Rey needs right now. His cock hits all the right places inside of her, and she doesn’t think that anyone else will ever fuck her as thoroughly as he is fucking her right now. The abused walls of her cunt contract around him rhythmically. The beginnings of that telltale warm and bubbly feeling start to bloom in her lower belly, and before she knows it, she’s squirting all over his cock. 

She’s  _ never  _ squirted before. Not ever. 

Ben growls in pride and satisfaction and picks up the pace of his thrusts even more, continuing to rub at her clit as she rides out the aftershocks of her orgasm. His hips slam into her ass one more time, and then she feels the warm splash of his cum paint her inner walls as he groans and collapses on her slightly. The feeling of his cum helps to soothe her walls a little after the ferocity of his cock pounding into her. She’s pretty sure her pussy is bruised, and she can’t wait to wake up tomorrow and feel the soreness between her thighs. 

He pulls out before he’s done cumming, and some of his spend lands on her ass and lower back. He doesn’t even bother wiping it away before she stands up. 

She turns to face him, and they’re both breathing heavily. His cum is seeping out of her cunt and dripping down her back. He avoids her eyes, letting his gaze roam around the kitchen instead. 

Rey scrutinizes his face, and the expression she finds there concerns her. He doesn’t look happy. He doesn’t look like someone who is sated or pleased. He just looks...distraught. That’s the best way she can describe it. 

Ben turns to look at her. He grinds his jaw like he usually does before he yells at her, but instead of yelling this time, he just sighs quietly. She thinks she sees his eyes welling up, but she probably imagined it. 

“Clean yourself up and then clean this kitchen up. I don’t want to see even a speck of flour on the floor or in your hair.” He grinds out harshly, and then he’s turning away from her, gathering his clothes from the ground, and storming out. 

The song that plays when he walks away hits a little too close to home, even if she can’t quite put her finger on why, at least not yet. 

_ Cherry flavored conversations with you _

_ Got me hanging on _

_ Down to Earth from all the waiting _

_ Take me somewhere beyond _

She cleans the kitchen. She scrubs every inch of every surface. She hadn’t planned on doing what he asked, but something in the way he behaved after they fucked didn’t sit right with her. Something shifted. So she uses cleaning as a distraction. She has to throw away the cake batter when she discovers some of his cum in the bowl, but it doesn’t really matter to her. It was never about the cupcakes anyways. 

Rey doesn’t know how to talk to him after that. It’s obvious that something has changed, and it’s even more obvious that neither of them can forget about what happened in the kitchen. 

It shouldn’t surprise her when he moves out a week later, but it does. For some reason, it hurts, and she hates him for that. 

It shouldn’t hurt this much, but it does, and it takes her a few months to realize why. 

_ I've been gettin' high _

_ It's keeping me low now _

_ I'm doin' it alone now _

_ I think I gotta slow down _

_ I know I _

_ I gotta take control now _

_ But I sold my soul a long time ago _

_ I feel like a ghost now _

It takes her four months after he leaves to go and look for him. 

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe one day I'll write this in Ben's POV, but please don't be mad at me for the ending. 
> 
> It's open to your interpretation to decide what happens. I have my thoughts on what happens, but feel free to leave your thoughts below! 
> 
> Follow me on Twitter: [arrum_rose](https://twitter.com/arrum_rose)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this filth! Comments and kudos are highly appreciated, and they motivate me to keep writing! <3


End file.
